Half way through.

 

I've reached the 20 week milestone! I'm half way there and so far everything is going pretty well. 

For the first time in this pregnancy Daddy Z was allowed to come along to the 20 week scan. I got a phone call from my midwife a few days before to say that our local area had changed rules to allow one partner into the 20 week scan. We were both so pleased. It had felt very strange to have to go to my previous scan alone, seeing the baby for the first time is such a special experience and it was hard for Daddy Z to miss out on that and felt wrong for me to be there alone. The scan went well, baby was measuring well and developing on track. This was a huge relief and we were so in awe watching baby stretching out and kicking on the screen. 

We've been really busy with the house trying to get the old office turned into a bedroom ready for Z and the baby who will have to share. We have no idea how that's going to go... Z seems happy that he'll have a new bedroom but whenever we mention baby there is very little reaction! That's no problem though, it's a big concept for any kid to understand, so we keep talking about it little by little in the hopes that he'll feel prepared. I've ordered a new book for Z too about a having a new baby around and I'm going to look into social stories to help him get ready. Any tips are welcome! 

I've had a few tough days. For a few weeks Z was really struggling to go into school (despite having a great time once he's in there) and it was tough on both of us. Tough for him to go through and for me to put him through. Watching him been escorted into school by staff on each arm is never something a parent wants to put their child through. The last week though has been much better and he's been pretty happy to go in again which is a massive relief, I'm not sure what exactly changed there but fingers crossed it carries on. Perhaps he'd just not been feeling too well - something he can't verbalise to me yet. I have been struggling at the end of the day lately, my energy and patience is low and when Z wants to read 10 books at bedtime (yep all the same 10 books every night) but insists on hitting me on the head with a stick before we can start it does make me A LITTLE crabby. I was convinced that he just didn't like me a few nights ago and I had a big old cry at my husband (who bloody never has trouble getting him up to bed of course). 

We all have bad days, and really I can't complain because this is nothing to the things we have had to go through and what others go through.  I try my best to remain positive, especially when Z wakes up in the morning and is so happy to see me again, that smile can get me through anything.  

Sarah x