What if...

Back when we were going through Z's diagnosis, the paediatrician asked us if we were considering having more children. At the time we didn't know when we'd feel ready to have another child but it was always a possibility. She told us that because Z was autistic then we were at a high chance of having other children that would also be on the spectrum. 

We were offered blood tests to screen Z for a certain genetic trait. We declined. As hard and draining as the diagnosis process was and all the other processes we go through to try to give Z a good start at life autism isn't something we fear. Z wouldn't be who he is if he wasn't autistic, it's part of him and I wouldn't change him for anything. He's opened my eyes to a whole other way of living, he see's things differently to everyone else, he is completely unique.

Of course there are worries, nothing is simple for anyone with autism. Nor is it simple as a parent. We've had to fight to get a diagnosis, seemingly endless forms to fill in, constant chasing up for EHCP, stress of finding and deciding on a suitable school, waiting lists for speech and language therapy and occupational therapy while all the time not knowing if you're doing things right for your child. If only we could have faster, easier access to help and services the whole process would probably feel a whole lot less traumatic. 

These are just processes though, we get through them in the end. It is daunting and draining however, I feel now that I'd be better prepared, knowing what I need to be ready for to get help. I know now that I need to talk more to Daddy Z when I'm struggling, that I can ask friends and family for help when I need to, and I know there is a fantastic community online that understand and offer support and advice when I don't know where to turn. 

What matters now is that we're a family, happy, healthy and there for each other. As Z says 'all friends together'.

Sarah x