Being Grateful

This week I've been deep in Disability Living Allowance (DLA) forms and if that's something you're familiar with, you'll probably understand how emotional it can be. Page after page of thinking about all the ways life isn't 'normal', focusing only on the things that Z can't do (yet). Tonight, I felt anxious and mopey, but as the three of us all sat around together I started thinking of things to be grateful for.

I was watching Daddy Z as he was engrossed in the new Spiderman game, sat with his daft Playstation Christmas jumper on. Z was playing Cbeebies Playtime Island app on - as he calls it - 'MY bone' (Daddy Z's phone). The house felt cosy and calm despite all the redecorating we're going through and it just felt nice to be doing nothing for a little while. It made me excited for the Christmas holidays - no matter how we might end up spending it this year. 

I'm thankful that Z is happy in his new school, that we made the right decision to send him to a SEN school despite our first worries about it. That he is always just himself and doesn't change to fit in. His grandparents that love him unconditionally, that do so much for us but never expect anything back. He has family that love him no matter how far away they are (come and visit us soon, we miss you), and a family that is growing. And I'm forever grateful for that incredible laugh of Z's that makes you know for sure, just how happy he is and how much he loves tickles and chasing games, it's a laugh that can make you feel instantly better when you're down. I will never take for granted that he can now say 'I love you mummy' and gives me kisses.

This year has been a tough one, but right now, I can hear Z joining in while Daddy Z reads bedtime stories, there's some fantastic animal noises going on and it's putting the biggest smile on my face listening to them laughing together, naming shapes and animals. It's good to put focus back on the improvements Z is making. 

Sarah x